#1 Don t blame.
We often blame each other when our relationship is not what we want it to be. He does not listen when I talk to him. She never warms up to me. Is it too much to ask him to do something nice for me once in a while? I feel like I would do more for her if only she would stop nagging me all the time. It never helps to blame the other person for the failing relationship; it will only put everyone on the defensive. Begin by appreciating your partner for who they are, not for who you want them to be.
#2 Give your partner some space.
It is not good to make a habit of always having your partner around. A very common reason for couples breaking up is the issue of dependency. You need to be okay with the fact that you and your partner may need some time apart to do some things. If you feel like you need to be with your partner all of the time, then perhaps you should take the hint and look for some things you can do outside your relationship.
#3 Do you talk to one another?
If you want your relationship to thrive, it is imperative that you talk things out in a constructive manner. If you discover that you will only be able to communicate to each other through an arguments, sarcasm, and nasty comments, then it is probably time to step away from such behavior because it is disrespectful and will only harm your relationship. Would you talk to your friends or coworkers that way? Why would you want to hurt someone you love by talking like that?
#4 Don t listen to lies.
Are you in a habit of making up imaginary scenes about what your partner is up to or thinking? For example, if your partner does not immediately attend to a need of yours because they were occupied with something else, do you imagine that means they do not care about you? Do not listen to those voices, as they are just polluting your view of reality.
#5 Are you paying attention to your partner?
Are you aware of the things that interest your partner? Do you give them a chance to explain their side of the story? At times we don t listen because we want to be right at all costs. Next time you disagree over an issue, try to remain calm and listen objectively to the other person s words. You should realize that you may not always be right and by not listening carefully you might miss something important.
Even doing the above might not be enough to make a substantial change in some relationships. If that is how you feel, then you probably will benefit from some time away from each other. Use this time to clear your mind and figure out what it is that you really desire.
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